96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
