You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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