More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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