Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
