If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
