so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's never too late to be topless.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
