is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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