just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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