Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
