The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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