Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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