I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There r osticjed everywhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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