The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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