So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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