we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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