oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
