I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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