Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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