I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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