whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
