You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
