its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
