conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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