someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize