I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
