escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
whose parrot is this?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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