it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
