Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
