Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
