I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize