I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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