I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize