nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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