Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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