is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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