Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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