I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
