Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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