Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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