somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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