3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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