eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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