In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
