Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
