I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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