The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
