i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
