And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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