Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
