I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
