so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
