are you still at the devil's house?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
