I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
