i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
