You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Iโm getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
Thatโs two in three months. You really know how to live.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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