i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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