therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
