all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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