Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
