There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
